專家點評 SAT作文的修改

　　下面是專家對于一篇SAT作文的修改，這篇SAT作文的作者基礎一般，專家把文章拆成了五部分，分別做了點評，包括分析部分和修改部分。

　　Some failed experiences are useful for us.

　　第一部分：

　　Take myself for as an example. I played tennis at the age of eight. When I was eleven years old, I took part in a Sports Meeting about tennis which was organized by Jiangsu Province, a province in the southeast of China. 1At the beginning of the group match I had won two opponents, but my third opponent, Hu, who was in the Jiangsu 2provinciances team, defeated me. The score was 1:6 and 2:6. At the end of our match, he held out his thumb to the ground and said, Loser! You cannot win forever!

　　I could not forget it after the match, though I would have another doubles match the next day.

　　分析：

　　1.in the first group stage

　　2.provincial team 省隊

　　第二部分：

　　1 His words reverberated unceasingly nearby my ear, even in mine dream.The next day, I could not focus on the match. At the beginning of the match, the score was 1:4.

　　2 What are you doing? My partner shouted at me while his hand knocked at my head and his arm winded around my shoulder. You shouldnt pay attention to your failure that was something in the past. And you must focus on this match now! He shouted. At last, we won the match and got the prize of 6th that year.

　　分析：

　　1 SAT作文的修改：His words stayed in my mind for such a long time that I could not focus my attention on the doubles match the next day.

　　2 呵呵，在這位同學的營造下，他的朋友成了又一個馬景濤，很喜歡吼，看過實在忍俊不禁。

　　SAT作文的修改：He, holding out his hand, firstly knocked at my head, had me in his arm and told me some words that I would never forget, Cheer up. Do not cry over the split milk. Just let it go. Put aside the previous failure and try your best in the current match. He drove those words so deep into my heart that I finally made it. Finally, we won the 　　注：各位要學會多用對話加強真實感。

　　下面是專家對于一篇SAT作文的修改，這篇SAT作文的作者基礎一般，專家把文章拆成了五部分，分別做了點評，包括分析部分和修改部分。

　　Some failed experiences are useful for us.

　　第一部分：

　　Take myself for as an example. I played tennis at the age of eight. When I was eleven years old, I took part in a Sports Meeting about tennis which was organized by Jiangsu Province, a province in the southeast of China. 1At the beginning of the group match I had won two opponents, but my third opponent, Hu, who was in the Jiangsu 2provinciances team, defeated me. The score was 1:6 and 2:6. At the end of our match, he held out his thumb to the ground and said, Loser! You cannot win forever!

　　I could not forget it after the match, though I would have another doubles match the next day.

　　分析：

　　1.in the first group stage

　　2.provincial team 省隊

　　第二部分：

　　1 His words reverberated unceasingly nearby my ear, even in mine dream.The next day, I could not focus on the match. At the beginning of the match, the score was 1:4.

　　2 What are you doing? My partner shouted at me while his hand knocked at my head and his arm winded around my shoulder. You shouldnt pay attention to your failure that was something in the past. And you must focus on this match now! He shouted. At last, we won the match and got the prize of 6th that year.

　　分析：

　　1 SAT作文的修改：His words stayed in my mind for such a long time that I could not focus my attention on the doubles match the next day.

　　2 呵呵，在這位同學的營造下，他的朋友成了又一個馬景濤，很喜歡吼，看過實在忍俊不禁。

　　SAT作文的修改：He, holding out his hand, firstly knocked at my head, had me in his arm and told me some words that I would never forget, Cheer up. Do not cry over the split milk. Just let it go. Put aside the previous failure and try your best in the current match. He drove those words so deep into my heart that I finally made it. Finally, we won the 　　注：各位要學會多用對話加強真實感。