SAT作文范文習(xí)作修改示例

　　SAT作文的備考過程中，參考一下SAT作文范文是非常有效率的方法，因?yàn)檫@可以讓大家更快的了解SAT作文寫作的特點(diǎn)和模式。下面為大家整理了一篇SAT作文范文的修改，供大家參考。

　　Truth is not objective

　　Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below:

　　Akira Kurosawas film masterpiece Rashomon portrays several people who have witnessed a death. As each observer recounts the event as he or she witnessed it, we come to realize that each persons story varies greatly from every other account. Watching the movie, we reflect that the truth of an experienceand perhaps all truthis different for each person.

　　Assignment: What is your opinion of the claim that truth is not objective, but rather is determined by each individual? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

　　SAT作文范文習(xí)作修改

　　第一段

　　Great confidence is often put into what people see or hear. In a court, a judge will listen to witnesses and regard their words as evidence. However, is it possible that what we take in by eyes or ears, in another word, what we regard as truth, are not objective?

　　語言修改：

　　Great confidence is often put into what people see or hear. In a court, a judge will listen to witnesses and regard their words as evidence. Is it possible that what we see and hear, or what we regard as the truth, is not objective?

　　本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　這個(gè)開頭避免了許多習(xí)作簡(jiǎn)單重復(fù)題目的缺點(diǎn)。而且舉出了法庭審訊這個(gè)場(chǎng)景，然后提出了一個(gè)問題，這兩個(gè)手段都能激發(fā)讀者閱讀的興趣，而且顯得與眾不同。

　　第二段

　　This is a case concerning two characters, Heathcliff and Cathy, in the novel Wutherring Heights by Emily Bronte. Heathcliff took his departure after his eavesdropping Cathys dialogue with another woman. He heard part of the dialogue, in which Cathy appeared to be so vain that she regarded marriage with Heathcliff as adjective. From Heathcliffs angle, we truly recount the event as he did and feel sorry for him from bottom of our hearts. But look at the other side of the story: Cathy was expressing her love for him, despite their difference in social status. Here, we come to realize that Cathys love for him was real and deep. From this example we know that things differs from various vision angle.

　　語言修改：

　　This is a case concerning two characters, Heathcliff and Cathy, in the novel Wutherring Heights by Emily Bronte. Heathcliff left after he heard Cathy speaking with another woman about her disdain toward marrying him. From Heathcliffs point of view, we truly feel sorry for him.

　　But from the other side of the coin, Cathy was actually expressing her love for him despite their different social status. Here, we come to realize that Cathys love for him was real and deep. From this example we can see that not everyone views things the same.

　　本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　這個(gè)例子與第一段要說明的問題稍稍有些偏差。作者要證明的論點(diǎn)是人們所見所聞的事實(shí)可能是客觀的嗎，而這個(gè)例子得出的結(jié)論是不同的角度看待問題得出的結(jié)果會(huì)是不一樣的。改后稿把最后一句改成從這個(gè)例子可以看出每個(gè)人對(duì)以同樣的眼光來看待事情，這樣說和論點(diǎn)貼得更近一些。

　　第三段

　　Another story about a stealth took place in ancient China. A man losing his ax, considering his neighbor as the thief, but he had no proof. Meeting his neighbor the next morning in town, he observed him carefully and thoroughly, and every detail he caught strengthen his confidence in his suspicion. Yet a week later, the ax was found accidentally brought out by his son. He then go and see the neighbor, and all he saw was a common innocent individual with neither trace nor tendency to stealth. Due to various points of view, he found what he saw varies. This story tells us that what we see is determined by what we think. Therefore, each individual decides truth.

　　語言修改：

　　Anther example is about a theft that took place in ancient China. A man, who lost his ax, believed his neighbor took it although he had no proof. When he met his neighbor in town the next morning, he observed him carefully and what he saw strengthened his suspicion. A week later, the ax was found by the owners son. He then went to see his neighbor and all he saw was an innocent person with no trace of stealth. He realized his unfounded suspicion had deceived his own eyes. This story tells us that what we see is determined by what we think. Therefore, truth is often not objective.

本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　這個(gè)例子比第一個(gè)例子更合適一些，說明了人們主觀的認(rèn)識(shí)會(huì)影響對(duì)客觀事實(shí)的看法，導(dǎo)致看到的事實(shí)都失去了其客觀性。另外，本段對(duì)于故事的敘述比較清楚而且簡(jiǎn)要，抓住了找到斧子前和找到斧子后發(fā)生的變化這個(gè)重點(diǎn)。

　　第四段

　　The two examples led us to a conclusion that truth is not objective, but rather is determined by each individual, and this is my position towards this issue.

　　語言修改：

　　The two examples above demonstrate that truth is not objective but rather is determined by the individual.

　　本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　結(jié)尾段比較簡(jiǎn)潔，明確。沒有單純的重復(fù)開頭段，而是把結(jié)論建立在兩個(gè)例子上，使讀者覺得論述有根有據(jù)。

　　習(xí)作總評(píng)：

　　這篇文章比較成功的說明了每個(gè)人的眼光都帶色，特別是開頭和結(jié)尾兩段沒有犯SAT作者常犯的錯(cuò)誤，中間的論證也比較有說服力。

　　本文沒有太多的理論闡述，文章基本上以舉例為主，通過舉例得出自己的觀點(diǎn)。本文講了兩個(gè)例子，一個(gè)是《呼嘯山莊》中的 故事，另外一個(gè)例子是中國古代的例子。兩個(gè)例子都支持了作者的觀點(diǎn)，特別是第二個(gè)例子更貼切。而且兩個(gè)例子相互對(duì)應(yīng)，一個(gè)中國的，一個(gè)外國的;一個(gè)來自于 民間故事，一個(gè)是文學(xué)名著;這樣兩個(gè)例子比較全面，讓人信服。

　　 原文的說法太啰嗦，直接用what I see and hear既簡(jiǎn)練又清楚。

　　 改后稿把原文的兩句話通過用兩個(gè)介詞about和toward合并成了一句，使句子簡(jiǎn)潔。

　　 原句和改后稿側(cè)重的角度不同，原句側(cè)重事情從不同角度看不一樣，改后稿側(cè)重人對(duì)于事物有不同認(rèn)識(shí)，改后稿的意思更符合本文論證的觀點(diǎn)。

　　這里用meeting不太合適，因?yàn)閙eet碰見，遇到表示的是一個(gè)瞬間動(dòng)作，一般不能用現(xiàn)在分詞形式，因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在分詞形式通常表示正在進(jìn)行或持續(xù)的動(dòng)作，而瞬間動(dòng)作一般是不能持續(xù)的。

　　 這里的common沒有表達(dá)任何意思，而且也沒有common individual這樣的說法。應(yīng)用average persons, average 比 common 好，因?yàn)榍罢哂须A級(jí)差別的含義，當(dāng)今美國英語很少用這個(gè)詞。

　　 句中所用動(dòng)詞時(shí)態(tài)不一致，對(duì)過去事情的描寫應(yīng)都用過去時(shí)。

　　 原習(xí)作的前半句用了兩個(gè)分詞結(jié)構(gòu)，沒有主要?jiǎng)釉~，是不完整的句子。

　　以上就是這篇SAT作文范文修改的全部內(nèi)容，對(duì)于這篇SAT作文范文的每一段都進(jìn)行了詳細(xì)的點(diǎn)評(píng)，對(duì)于其中的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)進(jìn)行了對(duì)比。大家在備考SAT作文考試的時(shí)候，可以參考一下。

　　SAT作文的備考過程中，參考一下SAT作文范文是非常有效率的方法，因?yàn)檫@可以讓大家更快的了解SAT作文寫作的特點(diǎn)和模式。下面為大家整理了一篇SAT作文范文的修改，供大家參考。

　　Truth is not objective

　　Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below:

　　Akira Kurosawas film masterpiece Rashomon portrays several people who have witnessed a death. As each observer recounts the event as he or she witnessed it, we come to realize that each persons story varies greatly from every other account. Watching the movie, we reflect that the truth of an experienceand perhaps all truthis different for each person.

　　Assignment: What is your opinion of the claim that truth is not objective, but rather is determined by each individual? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

　　SAT作文范文習(xí)作修改

　　第一段

　　Great confidence is often put into what people see or hear. In a court, a judge will listen to witnesses and regard their words as evidence. However, is it possible that what we take in by eyes or ears, in another word, what we regard as truth, are not objective?

　　語言修改：

　　Great confidence is often put into what people see or hear. In a court, a judge will listen to witnesses and regard their words as evidence. Is it possible that what we see and hear, or what we regard as the truth, is not objective?

　　本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　這個(gè)開頭避免了許多習(xí)作簡(jiǎn)單重復(fù)題目的缺點(diǎn)。而且舉出了法庭審訊這個(gè)場(chǎng)景，然后提出了一個(gè)問題，這兩個(gè)手段都能激發(fā)讀者閱讀的興趣，而且顯得與眾不同。

　　第二段

　　This is a case concerning two characters, Heathcliff and Cathy, in the novel Wutherring Heights by Emily Bronte. Heathcliff took his departure after his eavesdropping Cathys dialogue with another woman. He heard part of the dialogue, in which Cathy appeared to be so vain that she regarded marriage with Heathcliff as adjective. From Heathcliffs angle, we truly recount the event as he did and feel sorry for him from bottom of our hearts. But look at the other side of the story: Cathy was expressing her love for him, despite their difference in social status. Here, we come to realize that Cathys love for him was real and deep. From this example we know that things differs from various vision angle.

　　語言修改：

　　This is a case concerning two characters, Heathcliff and Cathy, in the novel Wutherring Heights by Emily Bronte. Heathcliff left after he heard Cathy speaking with another woman about her disdain toward marrying him. From Heathcliffs point of view, we truly feel sorry for him.

　　But from the other side of the coin, Cathy was actually expressing her love for him despite their different social status. Here, we come to realize that Cathys love for him was real and deep. From this example we can see that not everyone views things the same.

　　本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　這個(gè)例子與第一段要說明的問題稍稍有些偏差。作者要證明的論點(diǎn)是人們所見所聞的事實(shí)可能是客觀的嗎，而這個(gè)例子得出的結(jié)論是不同的角度看待問題得出的結(jié)果會(huì)是不一樣的。改后稿把最后一句改成從這個(gè)例子可以看出每個(gè)人對(duì)以同樣的眼光來看待事情，這樣說和論點(diǎn)貼得更近一些。

　　第三段

　　Another story about a stealth took place in ancient China. A man losing his ax, considering his neighbor as the thief, but he had no proof. Meeting his neighbor the next morning in town, he observed him carefully and thoroughly, and every detail he caught strengthen his confidence in his suspicion. Yet a week later, the ax was found accidentally brought out by his son. He then go and see the neighbor, and all he saw was a common innocent individual with neither trace nor tendency to stealth. Due to various points of view, he found what he saw varies. This story tells us that what we see is determined by what we think. Therefore, each individual decides truth.

　　語言修改：

　　Anther example is about a theft that took place in ancient China. A man, who lost his ax, believed his neighbor took it although he had no proof. When he met his neighbor in town the next morning, he observed him carefully and what he saw strengthened his suspicion. A week later, the ax was found by the owners son. He then went to see his neighbor and all he saw was an innocent person with no trace of stealth. He realized his unfounded suspicion had deceived his own eyes. This story tells us that what we see is determined by what we think. Therefore, truth is often not objective.

本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　這個(gè)例子比第一個(gè)例子更合適一些，說明了人們主觀的認(rèn)識(shí)會(huì)影響對(duì)客觀事實(shí)的看法，導(dǎo)致看到的事實(shí)都失去了其客觀性。另外，本段對(duì)于故事的敘述比較清楚而且簡(jiǎn)要，抓住了找到斧子前和找到斧子后發(fā)生的變化這個(gè)重點(diǎn)。

　　第四段

　　The two examples led us to a conclusion that truth is not objective, but rather is determined by each individual, and this is my position towards this issue.

　　語言修改：

　　The two examples above demonstrate that truth is not objective but rather is determined by the individual.

　　本段評(píng)點(diǎn)：

　　結(jié)尾段比較簡(jiǎn)潔，明確。沒有單純的重復(fù)開頭段，而是把結(jié)論建立在兩個(gè)例子上，使讀者覺得論述有根有據(jù)。

　　習(xí)作總評(píng)：

　　這篇文章比較成功的說明了每個(gè)人的眼光都帶色，特別是開頭和結(jié)尾兩段沒有犯SAT作者常犯的錯(cuò)誤，中間的論證也比較有說服力。

　　本文沒有太多的理論闡述，文章基本上以舉例為主，通過舉例得出自己的觀點(diǎn)。本文講了兩個(gè)例子，一個(gè)是《呼嘯山莊》中的 故事，另外一個(gè)例子是中國古代的例子。兩個(gè)例子都支持了作者的觀點(diǎn)，特別是第二個(gè)例子更貼切。而且兩個(gè)例子相互對(duì)應(yīng)，一個(gè)中國的，一個(gè)外國的;一個(gè)來自于 民間故事，一個(gè)是文學(xué)名著;這樣兩個(gè)例子比較全面，讓人信服。

　　 原文的說法太啰嗦，直接用what I see and hear既簡(jiǎn)練又清楚。

　　 改后稿把原文的兩句話通過用兩個(gè)介詞about和toward合并成了一句，使句子簡(jiǎn)潔。

　　 原句和改后稿側(cè)重的角度不同，原句側(cè)重事情從不同角度看不一樣，改后稿側(cè)重人對(duì)于事物有不同認(rèn)識(shí)，改后稿的意思更符合本文論證的觀點(diǎn)。

　　這里用meeting不太合適，因?yàn)閙eet碰見，遇到表示的是一個(gè)瞬間動(dòng)作，一般不能用現(xiàn)在分詞形式，因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在分詞形式通常表示正在進(jìn)行或持續(xù)的動(dòng)作，而瞬間動(dòng)作一般是不能持續(xù)的。

　　 這里的common沒有表達(dá)任何意思，而且也沒有common individual這樣的說法。應(yīng)用average persons, average 比 common 好，因?yàn)榍罢哂须A級(jí)差別的含義，當(dāng)今美國英語很少用這個(gè)詞。

　　 句中所用動(dòng)詞時(shí)態(tài)不一致，對(duì)過去事情的描寫應(yīng)都用過去時(shí)。

　　 原習(xí)作的前半句用了兩個(gè)分詞結(jié)構(gòu)，沒有主要?jiǎng)釉~，是不完整的句子。

　　以上就是這篇SAT作文范文修改的全部內(nèi)容，對(duì)于這篇SAT作文范文的每一段都進(jìn)行了詳細(xì)的點(diǎn)評(píng)，對(duì)于其中的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)進(jìn)行了對(duì)比。大家在備考SAT作文考試的時(shí)候，可以參考一下。